No matter what genre of fiction you’re editing, you could come across a story that contains a sex scene. So let’s talk about what to look for when editing something spicy.
As always, approach the edits with care and compassion. Writing is a vulnerable process, and many writers feel even more self-conscious about sex scenes.
Please note, this post is specifically about scenes with consensual sex, and I want to emphasize the importance of including consent on the page. I will not address sex scenes with no consent or dubious consent here because editing those requires additional nuances that go beyond the scope of this post.
Consent in a book should always be explicit and enthusiastic to reflect its real-life importance. Depending on the level of detail in the scene, showing safe sex practices on the page, such as the use of condoms and birth control, is also crucial.
Regardless of the scene’s context, showing consent and safe sex practices adds a level of authenticity and integrity that is essential for ethical representation.
Now, let’s get into our four main topics: purpose, emotion, language and inclusivity.
The purpose of sex scenes
The first thing to consider when editing sex scenes is purpose, and this comes into play on two levels.
Genre and target audience
Does the book need a sex scene in the first place? Some genres, such as romance and erotica, often include sex scenes, and audiences will expect them. Audiences for other genres, such as cozy mysteries, could balk at them. Approaches to sex scenes in general fiction depend on the book, so it may be more a question of how well the scene fits the tone of the novel.
Once you’ve established if the book warrants including a sex scene (or more than one), consider what type of sex scene audiences will expect. An open-door sex scene, meaning everything is shown on the page? A closed-door sex scene, where the scene “fades to black” by cutting to the next scene?
A well-read author will likely be familiar with the norms in the genre, but as editors, we need to flag where the text may deviate from reader expectations.
What the scene does for the story
Sex scenes are about more than character intimacy — although intimacy plays a big part. In erotica, for example, one major purpose of sex scenes is to arouse readers. While that may be one of the goals in other genres as well, a scene’s purpose often has more meat to it than arousal alone.
Sex scenes can be essential for the plot. Information revealed in a sex scene could move the plot forward by resolving a conflict or introducing an obstacle, and this can help show character growth by bringing characters together or pushing them apart.
The role of emotion in sex scenes
Portraying emotions on the page is key for setting the tone and connecting with readers.
What emotions are present at the beginning of the scene, and how do those emotions shift as it progresses? This will depend on the scene’s purpose.
For example, if the characters are keeping secrets from each other, physical intimacy might heighten their feelings of guilt about their emotional distance. If the scene is a long-awaited reunion after a struggle, maybe the characters feel relief and joy in addition to lust and love.
The right language for the scene
Just like the scene’s purpose, the language needs to meet audience expectations.
What type of language will readers of the genre expect around sex and intimacy? Will they prefer swears or no swears? Do they expect explicit descriptions of actions and body parts? And what will they want those body parts to be called?
For example, in reference to a character’s derriere, “ass” would likely fit the expectations of erotica readers, whereas a cozy fantasy audience might expect “butt” or “bottom.” Age group comes into play here as well; a sex scene in a YA book will not look the same as a sex scene written for adults.
Watch for overly creative language when it comes to names of body parts. Imaginative words can often make a scene sound cringey or overly cheesy, pulling readers out of a story. Like with dialogue tags, writers don’t need to reinvent the wheel!
Inclusivity in sex scenes
Inclusivity is essential for editors to address in sex scenes so that writers don’t unintentionally alienate readers.
Part of inclusivity is using gender-neutral descriptions. If something (e.g., a scent) is described as “male” or “female,” nudge the author to be more specific. What makes a scent female? What does a “female body” look like? There is no objectively correct answer, so taking out the word “female” and describing the scent or body shape is not only more inclusive, but also likely to be better writing.
Editing for inclusivity also applies to language regarding how the sex acts take place. Characters will experience sex in different ways and some may need mobility aids or equipment, so keep in mind what is physically possible or preferred for each character.
Most writers aren’t trying to be sexist, ableist or fatphobic, or to exclude transgender, nonbinary and gender nonconforming folks when they write sex scenes, but it happens. It’s our job as editors to point out any potentially alienating language and gently suggest a revision to make the text more authentic and inclusive.
To sum it up
When editing a sex scene, consider purpose, emotion, language and inclusivity. Editing for clarity on these four topics will help your client’s story achieve peak performance in their readers’ minds!
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Previous post from Brenna Bailey-Davies: On Editing an Editor: Brenna Bailey-Davies and Genevieve Clovis in Conversation
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Brenna Bailey-Davies
Brenna Bailey-Davies is the owner and lead editor of Bookmarten Editorial, where she provides editing and consulting services for indie authors of fantasy and romance. She writes queer contemporary romance novels under the pen name Brenna Bailey, and she is an avid reader, a starry-eyed traveler and a home baker. She lives in Calgary, Alberta, with her game-loving spouse and their cuddly fur-baby.